Honestly, I can’t say how I can put myself in your shoes because I tried so hard to, but I can’t reciprocate the same feelings you had. I’ve never encountered a person that I would wholeheartedly let myself be with so comfortably and I’ve never been passionate to an extent where I would give up my life for someone (I know you didn’t mention that in your words but I felt so). I can say that I couldn’t agree more with this companion of yours that said about this — raw. You did get me tearing up when I was in the midst of reading the book in the train. I’m not sure how often I get evoked when reading but this, this — I can’t explain it. It’s such a foreign feeling that I want to understand how can one be so hurt — a pain so elaborately portrayed in words. I admire you for writing a piece of your heart and gifting it to him. Especially when you started on a good note and you ended it just as well. I want to be able to provide you comfort but only He is the solace I believe you seek the most and need. I am merely a medium for you to let your feelings out and a warm embrace you can always seek out for. Be good to yourself — just as you’ve been good to others. I am absolutely enthralled to see you grow into someone much more passionate than today, even if you have given pieces of your heart to others — even those who deem unworthy of them. Lest, at least you’ve left a mark on someone. Pursue that rawness in yourself. You’re still an unpolished gem — it’ll take years but I know you’ll be a gem in which those who are important in your life will adore, admire. Love always, Fa.
I hate it when people apologize just to get rid of any guilt. I hate it when they apologize just so they are seen as the nicer ones in the situation. I hate it when they apologize but don’t do anything to make up for it. Nothing bugs me more than all talk and no action. Understand that you’ve hurt/caused trouble for some people and if you’re only constantly apologizing to make yourself feel good at the end of the day, the only person you should say sorry to is yourself.